Ask Zach

Where have you gone?

2010-08-29T17:22:00.000-07:00

..........

where could i get a laptop under 100 dollars but with lots of gb

2009-12-14T06:18:00.000-08:00

You know that guy named Tony who sells stuff out of the back of his truck? I talked to him and he said if your a friend of mine he can get you a 'hot' deal on a cheap laptop. Not only is it cheap but it comes preloaded with music, games and some random person's photos.

Cash only

should i do my homework?

2009-12-14T06:12:00.000-08:00

I hated homework and did everything to avoid it. Now I am stuck in a crummy job answering people's questions in exchange for stock in a worthless company. Now I do everything to avoid answering people's questions. (you may have noticed a lack of answers latley)

So think about what you want to do with your life and deiced if doing homework is worth it. (and I don't mean my old trick of doing your homework in the bathroom right before you have to turn it in)

does m&m color effect melting?

2009-10-13T19:48:00.000-07:00

Are you trying ot melt it in your mouth or in your hand?

This sounds like a science project to me. I am not going to do your work for you, but I will give you a hint. When I wear a black shirt outside I feel more hot then my white shirt. When I wear my muscle man shirt I am the hottest.

whats your favorite board company

2009-10-01T17:48:00.000-07:00

board game company would be Parker Borthers
2 by 4 board would be national lumber
Cardboard company would be American Cardboard
Skateboard would be darkstar (ok I lied I don't know anything about skate boards)

where was shakespeare born

2009-10-01T17:47:00.001-07:00

Shakespeare was never born. He did not exist. The works that are credited to him were written by Barack Obama who used a time machine to go back in time and write the different plays under Shakespeare’s name. Make sure to tell your teacher this and you will get an A for being so smart. PS. If you don’t believe me look at Wikipedia that I just changed to say that.

Ask Zach is Back!!

2009-09-18T06:41:00.001-07:00

As you may have noticed no questions have been answered for along time. I am sorry for all those kids out there who were unable to finish their homework, because Ask Zach didn't give them the answers. Also I hope that person who asked about the rash on a very personal area got that checked out by a doctor.

The reason why Ask Zach was dormant for a while was the owner, Rusty Shackleford, passed away from an opium overdose. The site ended up in legal limbo as relatives fought with one another not to become owners of this decrepit site. Thankfully someone stepped in and saved the website.

Heather Sinclair, founder of Sinclair Media, has bought AskZach.Com and hopes to be hiring a person named Zach to answer questions within the next week. So stay tuned all questions will be answered.

do you want to dance?

2009-06-29T17:12:00.000-07:00

I would love to dance the problem is I just had surgery on my knee, so I won't be dancing for a while. I see the doctor tomorrow and I will ask her "So you think I can dance?"

what are capri sun pouches made of

2009-06-20T21:34:00.000-07:00

Some say there is a place in hell where there are Capri Sun pouches full of acid. If you put the straw in and poke a whole through the pouch….well you get the idea. Capri Sun may look like it is from the future, but it is actually from a time when people thought outside the (juice) box, the late 60’s. That difficult to open pouch is nothing more than polyester-reverse side printed to aluminum then laminated to polyethylene (a plastic polymer).

how do i get the mailman to go out with me?!?!

2009-06-20T21:15:00.000-07:00

Letter carriers do make very good dating material. They will show up for a date even if it raining, snowing, or a hurricane is blowing. So how do you catch one of these fine specimens? Get a bunch of postcards, write how good looking your mailman is on it and how you wish you could date him on one and mail it to a friend. Send this to a few different friends. Then write you r phone number on another post card. If no calls then plan B is waiting for the postal worker and asking if he would like to see your stamp collection sometime (wink)

Good luck

will earth die in 2012

2009-05-30T07:29:00.000-07:00

Dust off your your y2k survival kits. The world is going to be ending soon.

Do you like dislike, or not care about twilight?

2009-05-11T16:30:00.000-07:00

I truly disliked Twilight
In fact a can say it was one of the wort movies I have ever seen

For those who have not seen it let me save you the trouble

girl: that mysterous man is hot
boy: sniff sniff get away form me
girl: I have not said more then 2 words to you but I am in love with you
boy: get away from me
girl: love love love
boy: away away away
girl: your a vampire that makes me love you more
boy: but I am a vampire
girl: but I love you
boy: but I am a vampire
girl: but I love you
boy: but I am a vampire
girl: but I love you
boy: but I am a vampire
girl: but I love you
boy: but I am a vampire
girl: but I love you
boy: okay
then end

how old art thou?

2009-03-31T09:23:00.000-07:00

When good manners shall lie all in one or two man's hands and they unwashed too, tis a foul thing

thou shall not ask thine blogger his age
I may be old but not too old to be young
my time on earth shall be said on this page
but do not ask one how old just bite your tongue
when thy was birthed there was lots to see
many events thou does not remember
there was the last MASH episode ever on TV
Tom Brokow took over the news in September
why ought my age you want to see
Is a birthday gift thou wants to buy?
I do like photography and most anything for the wii
wrap it up nice and bring thy gift in July
so my age is thou ready to see?
for I doth born July 26, 1983

As a vegan, what do you think of animal crackers?

2009-03-30T19:53:00.000-07:00

Considering I am happy to eat "chicken," "beef," "duck," and "shrimp" I do not see the problem with eating animal crackers. I do have a problem that they are called crackers when they are most defiantly a cookie. I am wondering how they have gotten away with the cracker name for so long.

As evidence that they are in fact cookies I turn to wikipedia:

"In U.S. English, the name "cracker" is most often applied to flat biscuits with a savory, salty flavor, in distinction from a "cookie," which may be similar to a "cracker" in appearance and texture, but has a sweet flavor. Crackers may be further distinguished from cookies by the manner in which they are made. Crackers are made by layering dough and cookies are made in any manner a cake would be made. Crackers sometimes have cheese or spices as ingredients, or even chicken stock. Some crackers are salted, flour products."

I urge all of you out there to write to your congressperson about this issue. (It is not like there any more important issues going on right now)

who is the current secretary of education

2009-03-30T17:51:00.000-07:00

I remember a while back in the old bush days there was the guy form Texas who had told schools to cheat on the state test to make it look like the schools had made amazing advancements. So as a tribute to him, I am going to have to cheat and use the all mighty Goolge.

The answer: is Arne Duncan.

Remember kids cheating is never a good idea

who was the first person to reech the north pole

2009-03-29T19:40:00.000-07:00

I forget his name, but I remember what he looked like. He was on the chubby side, had a red jacket, red pants, and red hat. (I guess the man loved red) He also had a white beard and was drinking a lot of Coke from a glass bottle.

I may be wrong but I think he took up residency in the North Pole. He might still be there not sure though. I wish I could remember his name.......

how much does 10 lb of pennies worth

2009-03-29T19:19:00.000-07:00

In this economy a "penny saved really is a penny earned". There is a good reason why the Coinstar line is so long. There is also a good reason why I look under the cushions of my friend's couch for loose change. (I got to pay the bills some how)

So you have a big jar full of pennies, and your wondering if you can use to to pay your sub prime mortgage or your credit card debt.

Well using my old answer a penny weighs in at 2.5 grams. There are 453.58 grams to pound, so that means about 180 pennies per a pound. So 10 lb of pennies equals 1,800 for a grand total of $18

PS. If using your pennies to pay for something do not soak them in urine first.

Hello, hailing from the desert here, and just wondering if deep fried things are vegan?

2009-03-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

"Hello, hailing from the desert here, and just wondering if deep fried things are vegan? Not because of the concern over being friend in that greasy catch-all fry-o-later, but because of the surrounding breading. More specifically, deep fried oreos?"

Is there anything they will not deep fry
Twinkies
Snickers
pickles
spaghetti & meatballs
even (gasp) chicken

so is it vegan........
after consulting the great grandson of col. Sanders I have found out that sometimes the breading is vegan and sometimes it is not. The only real way to know is to make your own (there is tons of sugar in these)

what is 7575765 + 336553

2009-03-23T19:54:00.001-07:00

What is your homework?

As I tell the kids I work with I am not going to give you an answer. I will help you though.
7575765
336553

remember to carry the numbers

How long is the great wall of China?

2009-03-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

I have already answered how long is a Chinese man, unlike this question this one is not a joke.

Its very loooooooooong about 4,000 miles long

is it safe to drink milk after the experation date

2009-03-23T19:45:00.000-07:00

As a vegan, I may not be the best person to ask about milk. I would say if it is starting ot look like cottage cheese I would not drink it. I can remember from my milk drinking days that bad milk has a pretty distinct smell. No smell I say go for it.

(Under advisement of my attorney, I must state: If you get sick or die from taking this advice you can not sue me. consult your physician or local farmer before following my advice. )

WHAT IS A GRAMS OF GOLD SELLING FOR

2009-02-10T15:20:00.000-08:00

The answer depends on what kind of gold and who you are asking.

The only way I can fully answer your question is by you mailing your gold to me. I will then asses its value. I will then post its value right here on Askzach.com. I call the program blog4gold.

If you think mailing your gold off to some random guy / company is a bad idea you would be right.

(I am secretly hoping cash4gold.com will pay me to take down this post)

Will You be in my movie?

2009-02-10T15:14:00.001-08:00

As an internet celebrity I get asked to be in all kinds of movies and TV shows. There is only one of me, so I can't be in all of them. That is why I have hired a look a like. When you hire for me to be in your movie, tv show, child's birthday party, or parole hearing it might not actually be me who shows up, but a look a like.
Not to worry all look a likes have been certified by me and have had to attend a half an hour training taught by me (or a look a like if I am too busy)

so if you would like to hire me or someone that looks like me send an e-mail to: iwanttohire (AT) askzach.com

How do you spell Austrailia

2009-01-23T10:17:00.000-08:00

Did you mean: Australia?

What is the correct way to pronounce the president's name? All the anchors say oBAma but all the people cheering go obaMA.

2009-01-23T10:01:00.001-08:00

Being from Massachusetts I wish it was obaMA. After much research including listing to the audio book version of Dreams From My Father I have concluded that it is oBAma. That should not stop people from yelling obaMA or writing Obama.

where is the nearest gas station to central park west and 62nd st?

2009-01-04T14:51:00.000-08:00

The price of gas has fallen, but in order get a good price at the pump you will have to find a pump. One option is to use your GPS. Sure it might lead you around in circles. Each time you reach a gas station you will find an empty lot or construction site. or you can try:

303 West 96th Street
New York, NY
212 865-3311

I don’t think it has been torn down yet

ive noticed all these cans are non meat items, are you a vegetarian, zach?

2008-12-07T18:39:00.000-08:00

What a good eye you got there.

There is a little peek a tuna fish can on the bottom, but for the most part they are non-meat items.
I am not a vegetarian, I am in fact a vegan.

The selection of the images had more to with Google Image Search than my veganism.
For those wondering, the can food items being donated are not going to be necessarily vegan.

Can Count: 8

what dose pc mean?

2008-12-07T18:27:00.000-08:00

PC can mean a few different things.

One use of PC is politically correct.
For example: It is PC to say vertically challenged instead of midget.

Another use of PC is Photonic Crystal.
For example: That opal I got is one crazy PC.

The last use is Personal Computer:
For example: John Hodgman is not only an author, but also he also one sexy PC.

Can Count: 7

how old are you?

2008-12-07T18:22:00.000-08:00

There were 25 candles on my yummy soy ice cream cake.

Can Count: 6

How much does it cost to bungee jump in San Diego?

2008-11-10T21:17:00.000-08:00

It depends how many jumps you want to......
ah
ah
ah
ah
ah
ah
ah
ah...... do. It ranges from $69 up up up up up up up up to $165

Can Count: 5

Is there 1 Zach or a team of 'Zachs' answering the questions?

2008-11-07T09:40:00.000-08:00

There is currently only one Zach at askzach.com.

We are looking to expand into new emerging markets soon and will need more Zachs to make the expansion a successful one. In order to apply for the job your name must be Zach, not Zack, Zac, or Zak. You must be willing to work for next to nothing and be able to answer questions no matter how crazy they may seem.

You have a shot a AskZach.Com are you interested? Iwanttowork@askach.com

Can Count: 4

how many states are there in the us?

2008-11-07T09:25:00.000-08:00

Is that you Governor Palin?

There are Fifty nifty United States

but about only 10 of them get to pick the next president

and yes they can

Can Count: 3

What is the best jelly bean flavor?

2008-11-06T09:40:00.001-08:00

You asked the right person I love jelly beans

All the flavors in the starburt jelly beans are pretty good. (you have to get a fresh bag though)

As for Jelly Belly: I would have to go with Tangerine, pear, orange, and lemon

I guess you could say I am a little fruity just not Tutti-Frutti

and stay away from buttered popcorn

can count: 2

What is your take on question #2 on the MA ballot?

2008-11-06T09:35:00.000-08:00

whoa man why do they call them fingers? I have never seen them fing.

so for those who don't know question two would totally make smoking weed less of a crime.

instead of jail or a record you just get a ticket and pay a fine

its totally awesome

it lets cops spend time on real crime
and keeps people from not getting a job for smoking up every now and then

ok time for me to get some food

can count: 1

Why are you standing behind a pile of cans?

2008-10-22T20:41:00.000-07:00

There is a good reason for those cans, a real good reason in fact. When you get a question answered by Zach he will donate a can of food to The Greater Boston Food Bank. You get your question answered and help those in need all for free

More about Questions for Cans

Zach I know who you are I have the same "job" as you

2008-10-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

Jeeves, is that you old buddy? I was wondering when you would get back from your cruise and give me a "call". You want to hang out this weekend? Do you have any other suites or clothes you want to send my way? I fell silly wearing the same suite all the time. I know you like to think you still have a "job," but you were put on an early retirement by ask.com.

how many states whre there during the Cival war

2008-10-03T10:15:00.000-07:00

There where none.

That is because the Cival war was fought in what is known as Peten, Guatemala, and there are no states in Guatemala.

Now on the off chance you were inquiring on the Civil War I will let you know that there were about 40 states. The reason for the about is that Maine, Kanses, and West Virgina all became sates during the war.

What is most economical car?

2008-10-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

a bike

ok I know that is not really a car, but you should try biking you get much better mileage than even a Prius. It also costs very little and repairs are cheaper too......

Fine I will talk about cars

I am no Magliozzi, but I do listen to them a lot. I would recommend a Pre-Owned ( a nice way for saying used) Kia Rio. This car does not cost much, and gets great mileage. "So come on down" and get a car. Tell the plaid suit salesman Ask Zach sent you and he will take 10% off the under coating.

what is a troy ounce

2008-10-03T09:43:00.000-07:00

There are two diffret Troy Ounces:

The first one is how much an ounce weighs in Troy, New York. In Troy, New Your a Troy Ounce is

The most common use of Troy ounce is when measuring gold for jewelry. How else can someone brag about the new bracelet he or she got with out some sort of weight system for the gold it is made out of. In that case a Troy Ounce is 31.1034768 grams.

what 3 numbers am i thinking right now?

2008-10-03T09:42:00.000-07:00

3, 3, and 3

ru hott?

2008-09-08T08:50:00.000-07:00

I am not 2 hot thanks for asking
It is has been pretty cool around here lately (Here being the Northeast USA)
Our August was pretty rainy and had many colder days
Plus my apartment got an air conditioner this summer, so I have not been hot.

If the walls had ears, what would q-tips look like?

2008-09-08T08:37:00.000-07:00

Q-tips would not look any different.

First of all if walls did have ears who knows how big or small they would be so the size of the q-tip would not need to change if the ears were creepily similar to ours.

Secondly a wall may have ears, but it does not have arms or hands to use the q-tip

Lastly, there is the warning on the q-tip box that states “Do not insert swab into ear canal. Use only on the outer surfaces of the ear. Keep out of reach of children.” So the wall’s ears should not have q-tips inserted into them anyways.

What is your preferred thread count on sheets?

2008-09-08T08:14:00.000-07:00

181

soft like well hydrated skin, but not too soft

plus it is a palindrome

How many flavors of fanta are there?

2008-09-08T07:53:00.000-07:00

Do you wanta wanta know how many flavors of Fanta Fanta?

Well for us Americans Fnata seems to be a second tier soda brand, but there is a whole world out there and most of the world is filed with Fanta. Each country has its own set of Fanta flavors everything from ordinary orange to Lactic White Grape to the yummy Lychee.

I myself am a fan of Fanta Naranja

so to answer your question here are about 70 flavours of Fanta

how many grams in an ounce of gold?

2008-08-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, there is the same amount of grams in an ounce of gold as grams in an ounce of elephant dung. (dried not fresh)

Any circus worker, jeweler, or jungle lover can tell you that magic number is 28.350

Buddy Foote asks: What is your favorite programming language?

2008-07-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

Hey Buddy long time now ask.

My favorite programing language is one I have not used in a long time, Logo.

I did not even know when I was using Logo that it was a program language because it was so much fun to use.
Shout out to Mr. Kraph the computer teacher at the Baker school in Bookline, who tought it to us youngings.

In logo you would guide a little turtle aroud the screen on an Apple IIgs to make cool pictures

turn 90
fwd 100
repeat

also the Boston Science Museam had plastic turtle you could move around a little city
also it was a way to build computer controlled legos in the pre-mindstorm days

It's justin and mickey, how did you get this website "up and running?"

2008-07-15T14:37:00.000-07:00

Justin and Mickey
I added a search to find old answers that relate to questions you may have.
(it is on the right hand side of this page or here)

I think this answer is what you are "looking for."

i look like a girl

2008-07-15T14:35:00.000-07:00

that is more of a statement than a question, but thanks for sharing

Someting you wear that starts with A?

2008-06-29T20:26:00.000-07:00

A little while back I answered about hings I wear that start with the letter Z.
Now I am being asked about the lettter A.
This is pretty easy

I wear "a" shirt, "a" pair of pants, "a" Randolph sweat shirt, and "a" pair of Askzach.com boxers.

I asked you a question literally like 10 months ago, you never answered. I asked another after that, you never answered. Why don't you answer me?? I g

2008-06-29T19:51:00.000-07:00

"I asked you a question literally like 10 months ago, you never answered. I asked another after that, you never answered. Why don't you answer me?? I guarantee you my questions were way better than these lame questions...so why don't you answer?!?"

I am sorry I let you down.

I really do ty to answer all the questions I get.
The problem is I get a lot of junk questions. I get asked many questions that I have already answered. For example I get asked at least once a day "are you gay?" and "dom player" I have ansered questions on both these topics.

That is why I have now added a search box to the right hand side of this page.
Please seach for a question before you ask it.

so to answer you current question I might have delted or sjkipped over your question because it was grouped with a lot of junk questions. I primise to look at each question and try to answer it if it has not been answered before.

Once again sorry and I can't wait to find out what your not lame question is.

is w a vowel?

2008-06-02T19:27:00.000-07:00

Y is it so hard to figure out what letters are vowels and what are consonants. I can telly uo that w is never a vowel. It would not be a marshmallow in Post Alpha-Bits.

SOMETHING YOU WEAR that starts with z?

2008-06-02T19:25:00.000-07:00

I wear a lot of things that start with Z.
Zach's shirt, Zach's pants, Zach's socks, and Zach's dress to name a few.

what dose pelt mean?

2008-04-29T20:12:00.000-07:00

It most likely means that I misspelled melt on an answer. Creating Ask Zach to come up when you search for pelt. I really need an editor or maybe not if it is getting me more hist and more questions.

If your looking for a definition of pelt I could throw or hurl a couple of ideas at you, but I think I will leave the definitions for Mr. Webster.

Do you play any sports?

2008-04-15T19:14:00.000-07:00

I play golf, tennis, baseball, bowling, and boxing. (on the wii)
I am not big on sports where I have to go outdoors, unless my younger brother forces me to play with him.

At my other job I play first one to catch Zach gets a sticker. ( I work at a preschool)

do you speak german?

2008-04-15T19:10:00.000-07:00

9

(nein)

how many grams in an ounce?

2008-03-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

Math teachers always say you need to pay attention, because you need math in real life. Many people laugh this off. With a calculator, who needs to pay attention to Y=X-3?

Well now you realize you should have pay attention. Even if you live our life selling illegal controlled substances you still need to be good at math.

Someone wants to buy an ounce of substance B, how many grams do you need to but in the ziplock bag?

Answer: 28.35 grams or 10 grams of substance B with 18.35 grams of cornstarch cut in

how many moons does Saturn have?

2008-03-27T19:02:00.002-07:00

I knew Earth Day was coming up, but didn’t know Moon Day was coming up. (that explains all the moon questions around here)

It turns out that Moon Day is on the 19^th.

how many moons does earth have?

2008-03-27T19:02:00.001-07:00

One night I went out for a nice walk. The full moon lit up the one way street that I live on. As I was walking I saw one other person walking by. It turned out to be Buzz Aldrin. He was one of the first people on the moon. (the second actually) That is unless your one of those nuts who thinks the moon landing was faked and that there are secret moons that the government has hidden in Area 51.

Do you sponsor softball teams?

2008-03-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

AskZach Has sponsored a Bazooka Ball team a few years back. Unfortunately Bazookaball was bought out by the XFL. They attempted to turn to into a big televised event, but it failed miserably. They even had the Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to play DH on the AskZach Attack, but that caused less people to watch it instead of more.

Back to the question…..

If you have a softball team that needs to be sponsored please contact

getsponsored at askzach.com

how do i clean my pc after installing dom player

2008-03-02T10:48:00.000-08:00

You will want a can of compressed air and some of those Lysol wipes (free sample). Use the can of air to blast out those crumbs from last night’s dinner you ate while watching YouTube clips. You will then wipe down th…..

Oh you want to clean up the mess that dom player has made.

I would run your Ant-virus pronto. If you do not have one you can get AVG for free.

I would also run Ad-aware and Spybot (both free for your inner cheapskate)

I would also recommend having a good firewall (Zonealarm is a good free one)

Good luck and it doesn’t hurt to use the compressed air to blast out all those dust bunnies mating by your CPU.

how much money is 300 lbs. of pennys

2008-03-02T10:45:00.000-08:00

If you go off my earlier answer that a penny is 2.5 grams, then 300 lbs of pennies equals $554.32 That is one big piggy bank.

I can hear my 6^th grade teacher yelling to show my work.

300 x 453.60=136080 (total grams of 300 lbs pennies)

136080/2.5=54432 (amount of pennies if penny weighs 2.5 grams)

54432/100=554.32 (amount of dollars that 54432 pennies equals)

I better get a check plus on this

It's been since Feb 5th and we're on the 25th...Where are you???? You're hurting Tom Cruise's children

2008-03-02T10:44:00.000-08:00

On Feb 5 2008 the Union of bad blog writers and cereal box writers went on strike. We as a union had several demands. We wanted to get credit from General Mills for our fine article on whole grains and we wanted to get paid by blog owners (even if we were the ones who owned the blogs). We have finally settled and can continue writing.

I am sorry I was unable to answer questions during that time, but I am no scab. From this point on I should be answering questions pretty regularly. As for Tom Cruise’s children, I had no Idea they were such fans I apologize to them and all my other fans. The show must go on…….

why didnt you call your site askthezach.com?

2008-03-02T10:43:00.000-08:00

I am not Donald Trump who goes by The Donald. I am Zach who goes by Zach. My friend Jeeves site was Askjeeves.com, not askthejeeves.com.

If you want to start up askthezach.com I say “bring it on”

are you a real person?

2008-02-05T13:33:00.000-08:00

Wow I feel insulted. How would you feel if some askied if you were real?

I am the real deal.
I am real as Jeeves, Ramen soup, and getting an Ipod for free.

Do you reospond to every question????

2008-02-05T13:23:00.000-08:00

How do I open dom player / 3wplayer files?

2008-01-22T19:25:00.000-08:00

Arg ye be a pirate like me. The sea of downloading can be choppy. Some time you’ll find a treasure chest locked by dom player But if you download such things you will be fighting the landlubbers of ad-ware and spy-ware till ye be dead and a ghost. There be a way around the curse, on a full moon download and use unzixwin , pirate promise it aint cursed.

I must be warnin you, your treasure may not be what it seems, but it worth uncursing to see what you spent so much of ye time a stealing on the open sea or somewhat open seas. (support ocean neutrality to keep it open)

I need to know what do flammable signs look like

2008-01-22T19:17:00.001-08:00

I am a little afraid as to why you need to know what it looks like. I hope I am not answering this too late. Now that I think about it there have been some bad fires around here.

Well here you go:

And here is what an inflammable sign looks like:

I have just been told that inflammable means flammable “What a country!”

which m&m melts faster

2008-01-22T19:14:00.000-08:00

the one in your mouth, not the one in your hand

how can you find science fair projects for six graders?

2008-01-06T12:56:00.000-08:00

It is pretty easy to find a science fair project. Look for middle schools with lots of cars parked outside at night. You will know there is some kind of event that parents are going to. Once inside head to the gym or cafeteria (or both at the same time in some cases) and see if there is a science fair going on. If there is one check it out and borrow one of the ideas form there.

You could skip that step and go directly to doing one of the many classic projects: Giving different sodas to plants to see what happens, what M&M’s melt first?, check the link between taste and smell, and do two batteries provide more power or last longer?

If you use one of these you have to gibe me 10% of your grade. Send it to my sixth grade teacher.

. i like your sense of humor. i was just wondering if you look anything like the picture of you that's up on the website.. ?

2007-12-11T20:01:00.000-08:00

Wow thanks for the compliment. It is people like you that make me forget how lousy this no paying job really is. I now realize I do have a purpose in my life. I do look like the picture on the site, as that is a picture of me on the site. For more picture of me, join me on the Facebook.

do you like wearing a suit all the time?lol

2007-12-11T19:59:00.000-08:00

I am not sure what this suit is made out of, but it is amazing. It breaths very well and somehow keeps me warm in the winter and cool in the summer. It is a little strange to swim in it, but it works well enough. (It is not like I swim laps or anything)

Shout out to my homeboy Jeeves the first owner of my suit

is this fake ?

2007-12-11T19:49:00.000-08:00

This is as real as chicken McNuggets, the Maytag Man, Santa, and the name brand watch I bought in NYC.

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE...and i know what you throw away! you waste ALOT!!!! i think people should know how much you throw away!

2007-12-11T19:48:00.000-08:00

This is not really a question, but more of an accusation. You might be mistaking my neighbor’s trash for mine. Hint: I do not throw away dirty diapers. I actually compost my organic waste. Meaning I throw away a lot less than most.

PS. AskZach.Com fertilizer will be for sale soon. Containing actual Ask Zach food scraps!

HI IM YOUR HUGE 1# FAN! BUT... IM STARTING TO THINK YOU THINK IM WIERD DO YOU???????????????????

2007-12-04T16:29:00.000-08:00

Well it is very nice to have a fan out there. I do not think your weird. I think it is just a little stalkerish. Getting "HI IM YOUR HUGE 1# FAN!" a couple of times it felt nice knowing I touched someone. After getting over ten "HI IM YOUR HUGE 1# FAN!" I am stating to get the feeling someone is stalking me. I keep thinking that I am being followed by some one, and the other day someone or something went though my trash. This whole thing could be a ploy by Big Al's Body Guard service, they called me the other day wondering if I wanted a body guard. Whoever this is, there are better ways to tell me how big a fan you are:

1. Download and use the Ask Zach toolbar (I get a few cents for it)
2. Sign up for Ask Zach in your E-mail
3. paypal me some money
4. Donate some money to a worthy charity on honor of Ask Zach

just a few questions i wanted to ask....do you just sit at home on your computer all DAY???? !!! IS THIS YOUR JOB?..Why dont you ever answer the quest

2007-12-04T13:03:00.001-08:00

Here are a few answers for you. Yes this is my job. I work in an office. It is small crammed and cold, but it is all mine. I don't really get paid per say, I do get lots of stock though. (Who doesn't love stock?) I do not just sit at my computer all day, but many people think I do. I do answer the questions that is after all my job.

how is your day going?

2007-12-04T12:59:00.000-08:00

So far it is going pretty well. I might not have won the lottery, but I don't have any complaints. It is a little cold and snowy out. It took awhile to get to the office, but I am finally here and ready to answer some questions.

How is your day?

Are you hott?

2007-11-29T17:44:00.000-08:00

As you may well be aware oil prices are not looking so good. (That is unless your OPECish) It is no surprise that Ask Zach Inc keeps the thermostat at 55 F. It is hard enough to pay for oil, but even harder when you’re a company that has no income, no business plan, no customers, no foosball table, and no Razor Scooters to get around the office with.

(We make it up in volume- Rusty CEO Ask Zach Inc.)

So in response to your question I am rather coldd.

Now if I could only get into the room with the server farm.

hi zach im a huge 1# fan I LOVE YOU!first i want to ask...do you say your name like i do?Zach

2007-11-29T17:41:00.002-08:00

And people wonder why I am afraid to post where I live.

why do people never seem to able to whisper?

2007-11-29T17:41:00.001-08:00

What? Did you say something? You will have to speak a little louder. I don’t hear as well as I used to.

Not sure what a listper is, but sounds interesting.

my brother's name is zach do you know him?

2007-11-29T17:39:00.000-08:00

I don’t know many Zachs as I missed out on the 2005 Zach convention in Vegas. If your last name is Silverman, Braff, or Cone I know your brother otherwise sorry.

where do you live?

2007-11-29T17:37:00.000-08:00

Latitude = 42.3230, Longitude = -71.0984

(got to keep the stalkers away)

if a boy calls me to do something every weekend but then when we finally have plans to do something breaks them what does that mean?

2007-11-18T13:36:00.000-08:00

1. You are living a real life episode of Degrassi and he got grounded the one time you finally said yes. He was then afraid to tell you the truth because he was afraid you would think he was a broomhead.

2. He is very disorganized and mixed up the days he was going to meet up with you on.

3. He either got scared / sick / abducted by aliens / eaten by his dog/ was held hostage (or some other lame excuse)

The best solution is call him up and say he better meet up with you next week. No excuses. He doesn’t show you never talk to him again. No excuses this time (so tell him to stay away from the UFOs)

is your name really zack?

2007-11-18T13:09:00.000-08:00

Nope it is not. It is all a lie I am really a blog actor. It is a new kind of actor that plays out his or her role over a blog. I am part of the same union as the Fake Steve Jobs.

Also, I know there is only a 3 letter difference but H and K are different.

what is going on?

2007-11-18T13:06:00.000-08:00

I am sitting down at my computer getting ready to answer some questions.

Is Ask Zach on Facebook?

2007-11-09T16:48:00.000-08:00

Are you a fan of Ask Zach?

prove it to all your Facebook friends by becoming Ask Zach's Facebook fan.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=6007123564

Zach, are you a natural blonde?

2007-11-04T11:22:00.000-08:00

Well like I am like so blond. When you asked me that question I was like as if. I am like totally natural fer shur.

my boyfriend just got his long hair (kind of the length of yours in that picture) cut really short. I no longer find him physicaly attractive, should

2007-11-04T11:17:00.000-08:00

You can always buy a wig the length you like and super glue it to his head while he is sleeping

We interrupt this answer to bring you a message form the Ask Zach Lawyer Harold Dewey: You can not sue Ask Zach / ZC Industries for any injuries or suffering resulting from following the advice of this imbecile.

Now back to the rest of the answer:

Another option talk to him with a hair care and dating counsel or

You could also try and make a list of other qualities you like about him Can’t think of an then dump the man fast already (DTMFA) for a male model since looks seem to mean a lot to you

Is there gonna be a kill bill 3

2007-10-17T19:49:00.000-07:00

Two full length movies about revenge towards one person was not good enough for you?

In a interview Quentin Tarantino mentioned something about the slight possibility of a third kill Bill about Vernita Green's daughter getting revenge. It is impossible to know if he was being serious or not. Even if he was we would have to wait until he is dome with his 8 hour war film.

whats your name?

2007-10-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

Guess where the Zach part of Ask Zach comes from?

r u a phantom?

2007-10-17T19:29:00.000-07:00

No I am not a phantom.

I do not like the opera or gourmet food
I do not fight crime in a purple suit, although I do own one.

I am just a guy who answers random questions

whats your email plz anser me im 9 thanks me on XXXXXX@hotmail.com

2007-10-01T20:04:00.001-07:00

Who screens these messages? I am not talking about on my end. I am talking about the parent of that girl. You should never give out personal information to strangers on the internets. Parents put the computer in a public space in your house and make sure your child doesn’t put his or her info into a public space.

zac do you like vanessa

2007-10-01T19:59:00.000-07:00

You do not seem to have your head in the game. I think you are looking for Zac Efron Sorry to disappoint my tween audience, but I am not Zac Efron. It is amazing how having an H at the end of my name prevented me form becoming a star.

PS. Vanessa is a little on the young side for me

Recent polls have shown that a fifth of Americans can't locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?

2007-09-09T15:40:00.000-07:00

This question has already been answered, but I will provide a more coherent one:

The problem is TV. Not that kids watch too much of it. (Well that is a problem), but what is on TV. Let’s go back in time…….

The year was 1991. Most youth in the United States could not tell the difference between the United States and the USSR. (and that was a scary thought) Something had to be done. A show was created. An amazing TV show that put geography on the map.

‘Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?’

The show became really big. Kids not only knew geography, they loved it. At one point 5 out of 5 kids knew where Ghana was. Due to funding the show ended in 1996. By the year 1998 kids’ knowledge of geography crumbled. Now in 2007 one out of five kids can’t find the USA on the map. We need to bring back ‘Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?’ now.

take it away Rockapella..........

whyd you steal my name scum bag

2007-08-28T13:44:00.000-07:00

I am guessing you did not look at your License Agreement. It is you whom is using my name, not the other way around.

To make a little side money as this website gig does not pay much. (stop complaining about your job, or you will be looking for a new one soon- Rusty S) I decided to license out my name to the people. As per terms of your agreement you in fact do not own the name, so I could cancel the agreement (look under II. Delivery/Access of Licensed Materials to Licensee or IV. Authorized Use of Licensed Materials of the agreement for more info) and you would be nameless.

Refer to page three of our agreement for our rent to own a name program that we are now offering with Rent-a-Center.

any other questions about your EULA should be sent to my lawyer Harold Dewey of the law offices of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe. They are located in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

thanks

will me qnd katlin get back together?

2007-08-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

I am no Miss Cleo, but things do not look good for you. Katlin is looking for someone who proof reads, and has good grammar. I do not have good grammar or spelling myself. (it is a wonder I got hired for this job)

It is something you can work on. Fill your mind with the thoughts of the most common misspelled words. This will keep your mind off Katlin. (unless Katlin is a common misspelled word)

PS. Firefox has built in spell checker (it is how I keep my job)

What's your favorite power tool?

2007-07-11T14:51:00.000-07:00

I do enjoy screw guns. The cut down on sore wrists and look pretty cool when you play aound with them. (and who hasn't reved it up in thee hand for no reason at all). Also they cut down on lots of project.....oh wait.....you mean City Year power tool

Hands up no doubt. It is a good way to shut people up no matter the age. Also it can be fun to start up a false hands up, making everyone go quiet for no reason at all.

did you like gravity bong hits?

2007-07-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

Ask Zach / ZC industries can not for legal reasons, endorse the use of illegal substances. On that note I do not like gravity bong hits, but I have head that Jesus does.

am i sexy?

2007-05-10T16:05:00.000-07:00

am I a mirror?

I am not sure what you look like. Not to go all 2000 on you, but there is a place to find the answer to that question.

why wont you get rid of this domain so i can yoink it?

2007-05-10T16:03:00.000-07:00

If I were to do that I would be out of a job. I got to make a living here!

and besides I don't want another stupid site covered in google ads trying to make money clogging up my Internet pipes

If I were to cut off my hair very short into a boy haircut, will a boy still date me?

2007-03-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

Yes very much so

I know the opinion of one man might not matter, but what if I told you that a very reliable source agrees with me.

This does not mean you should go all Britney (although a shaved head on a girl can be done well) on me, but I think short hair can be real cute. Also you can add a little fohawk action to it to drive the boys (and girls) real wild.